Only Chads 🙏 - Where Legends Are Born

🏆 Meet Our Elite Chads 🏆

⭐ FEATURED CHAD ⭐

😭

Kyle "The Ally" Madison III

Sigma Chi Omega Alpha · "The Empowerment Wing"

Kyle isn't like other frat brothers. Kyle FEELS things. After attending a women's studies elective (he thought it was wine tasting), Kyle had an emotional awakening. Now he hosts weekly "Safe Space Sundays" where brothers are encouraged to cry about their feelings and discuss intersectional feminism over craft IPAs.

"I just... I just want every woman to know that I SEE her struggle, you know? Like, I really SEE it. And it makes me so emotional. Hold on, I need a minute."

— Kyle, crying at brunch

Kyle has read exactly one book by a female author and won't stop bringing it up. He's started ending every sentence with "as a feminist ally." His Instagram is 90% reposts of empowerment quotes over sunset backgrounds.

Empowerment Energy 98.7%

Women He's "Helped" 0 (but he's tried SO hard)

Tears Shed for Equality 437 this semester

∞ Good Vibes

47 Therapy Sessions

🚩 Red Flags

🥶 TOP TIER

😎

Brad "The Lad" Stevenson

Alpha Sigma Sigma · Rush Chair 2024

Brad doesn't just attend ragers — he IS the rager. Once did a keg stand so long they had to reschedule his grandmother's funeral. His blood type is officially "Natty Light."

"Bro, I don't even remember last night, but I'm pretty sure it was legendary."

4.2 GPA (Beer)

89 Conquests

0 Consequences

💪 SWOLE

🏋️

Chad "The Quad" Thompson

Pi Kappa Gains · VP of Gains

Chad's body fat percentage is lower than his GPA. He's never skipped a gym day since 2019, but has skipped 147 consecutive classes. Can bench press a Honda Civic but can't read a syllabus.

"Every rep is a letter to future Chad. And future Chad is gonna be SWOLE."

285 Bench (lbs)

0.8 GPA

∞ Protein

🙏 SPIRITUAL

✝️

Tanner "The Prayer" Williams

Delta Chi Rho · Chaplain (Self-Appointed)

Tanner found Jesus freshman year when he blacked out and woke up in a 24-hour prayer vigil. Now he leads "Bros & Bibles" every Sunday morning (or afternoon, whenever everyone wakes up).

"Bro, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. It's different. Wanna do shots and talk about purpose?"

12 Testimonies

437 Prayers Sent

6 Sins/Week

🎨 ARTISTIC

🎸

Dylan "The Deep" Martinez

Sigma Epsilon Tau · "That One House"

Dylan is different. He listens to vinyl. He talks about "vibes" and "energy." He's been working on the same acoustic guitar song for three years. Every party, somehow, becomes about his "journey."

"The music isn't for everyone, bro. It's for the SOUL. Can I borrow $40 for vinyl?"

1 Song Written

∞ Vibes

$2,340 Vinyl Debt

💼 FUTURE CEO

📊

Tyler "The Tycoon" Harrison

Beta Theta Pi · Finance Bro Supreme

Tyler already has 47 LinkedIn connections and isn't even graduated. He talks about "synergy" at parties and has been called a "thought leader" by his mom. His business plan is just a PDF of his headshot repeated 50 times.

"I'm basically already a CEO. I just need the company. And the employees. And the product."

847 LinkedIn

0 Products

🤝 Networking

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* Must own at least 12 backwards hats. Ability to do laundry optional.